yes indeed as some people may have heard, tomorrow i am going to europe. I will have a fun time.. And I shall take many pictures which i will spam on DA.. probably.... Its a cruise called a viking cruise and its sounds nice. Since it's a river boat cruise I shall see probably more landlocked countries and Im starting in amsterdam
no i will not smoke weed
even though my mother said it was ok o.o
actually sortof encouraged it D:
But not the point..
I fear since I shall be gone for 2 weeks that my DA will fill up with journal posts and deviations.. ill probably skim through the deviations.. but i doubt i will look at the journals D:

I sure hope to post more art when I get back since I shall be drawing Hella lot...

well goodbye for now, I need to go shopping

VAMPIRES GO BLEHHHH!!!!

So it was a good thing I caught myself..

But I was on This teen dating site called MyLOL, Im thinking its new but im not sure. And was talking to this really adorable guy from the UK, we were just discussing our weekend
and..

I almost asked what he was doing for the forth of July DD:>
*is shot*

yeah good thing I caught my mistake before looking like an idiot


just a random silly moment

^^' i am most ceritanly not a gangstar! om fi ga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah.. im completely stummed on what to draw.. .sure ill scetch here and there... but what now? i draw what i know.. i need a challenge!! something that makes me think!!!! so give me some requests!! please help me!!!
first come fist serve
*holds a black and white checkered flag* ok...
ready
set..
fish! >>
GO!!!!!!!!

{open slots left}
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Im rather suprised in myself... was once a happy girl who kept any kind of doubt... sadness... anger, locked up into a little bottle.. until just last year in just broke.. my bottle shattered and i was a complete mess... hard to trust people... its not a very good feeling when you know that your insane.. but thats not as bad...

you know you never truely know how insane you are.. until that breif moment.. even if its for a second that you regain your sanity and everything makes sense...

sanity can be a good thing... but once you have had that feeling you become addicted... and its usually some.. kinda person or presence that does the right trick... so in becoming addicted to not being crazy.. you become addicted to that person... addictions are pretty self explanitory... when you first start you just want more and more... and it seems to hurt worse every time you dont get it...

thats why goodbyes, i believe, are the hardest thing for human beings to emotionaly handle... when you say goodbye to someone.. it just might possibly the last time you see them..... even if its a goodbye until you see them later in the day, maybe in a week... or even possibly ten years.. its still hurts no matter what watching that person just walk away from you... even counting every step they take until they are out of sight and you have to look away...

love... love is a strong word... when you say "i love you" it could be different for everyone... even though the words can feel nice sometimes... i bet you anything actions you do for someone mean much more then words... like running miles and miles just to see them for five minutes.. being late for something becuase you couldnt stand to be away from them.....

what my whole point in this rather boring rant... is im in love.. addicted to a certain person... my heart ache's to be with him... and i just go insane when he is not around.... i sometimes wondered and tryed to just be mad around him.. but its impossibly.. i yern to have him hold me... that why when we have little play fight to see who will cave in first and hug the other first... i always lose... being held means a lot to me and most of all makes me feel safe.. secure, a feeling that i have not had in quite sometime.. having to look over my shoulder every other moment to see if any eyes are staring that shouldnt be.. when im with my perfect person.. i dont care who is watching... as long as im with him and i can just look into his eyes... which.. i really wish i could more then i do... im guess im just still frightened... i just cant help it.....

"The night before halloween
i almost passed away
you came to me
and made me see
that i can die another day

Die another day i will
hopefully not to soon
in the park
i hate the dark
but with only you i would watch the moon

From moon rise to moon set
the stars shinning bright
if you held me close
and loved me the most
i would stay with you all night

Most shadows dont bother me anymore
this i will never get
they would still be near
so close to here
if i and you had never met

You know i used to be insane
every voice inside my head
i wondered who
but i know its you
the whole reason im not dead"

thankyou for saving my life.....

{this is one of my blogs on myspace.... is it really worth it?}

FUCKING DELETE EVERY SINGLE PICTURE I HAVE OF THAT STUPID WOMAN!

of my deviant art.. like my ndk pics of katsumarai? and her in a skirt? should just take everything down right? rip up every memory of her because i hate her now....

i used to think that hate was a strong word.. but now i know i do... i wont linger anymore... i have stopped... i dont want to make peace... i just want her out of my life and it would make it easier if i never saw her again..

so just to let you know.. to people who know me and her in real life.. if you have a party and want me to go... i might go... but if she is there i would probably come late and leave early... cause i cant stand to be around her... im not saying you have to pick or anything seriously im fine

im so happy that im free from her clutches.... i have had so many people tell me how much happier i have been without her.. and now i have an amazing boyfriend whom i love and care about deeply...

he wouldnt just break away from me completely with hardly a reason to give.. even if there was one... thats what that woman did... if she had a reason she sure as hell didnt tell me...

i wont reveal to much information about this cause its not really of concern.. i just want her out of my life for good so im going to delete all memories... sorry if you liked the pic that i delete but if it has her in it... its gone.. sorry

but yes... that is all